


Boom-Sha-La

by orphan_account



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Broning, Frottage, Jealousy, M/M, Tequila, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M, bro porn, drunken hookups, kaner-in-the-middle, this is not quality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:36:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was prompted with Kaner/Tazer/Segs drunkenly hooking up. And that...is what I wrote. I guess I just have a thing for making Kaner and Tazer have threesomes with random assorted bros? PWP.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boom-Sha-La

**Author's Note:**

> Quick and dirty, no beta.
> 
> Diclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and bears no relation to actual events that may or may not have happened to the real-life people who happen to share the same names.

Kaner’s shitty portable ipod speakers were blasting Kanye, and Kaner and Tyler Seguin were half dancing, half making out in the middle of Jonny’s hotel suite. Jonny wasn’t sure how, exactly, the night had ended up like this, didn’t want to think about his own role in getting them to that place.  
  
Fucking tequila.  
  
"You two need to get a room," Jonny said, leaning against the wall and folding his arms. "One that isn't _my_ fucking room."  
  
Kaner smirked over at him. His hands were gripping Segsy's waist, thumbs rubbing into the hard cut of muscle over his hips. Segs had lost his shirt...Jonny couldn't even remember when. Had he even started out with a shirt? The point was, it was absent, and Jonny could see the tops of his Calvin Kleins sticking out from his jeans. His skin was wet with sweat and beer and tequila. On his face was the dumbest grin Jonny had ever seen.  
  
"Tazer," he slurred, lifting his face from Kaner's hair. " _Jonny Toews_. Get over here."  
  
"Uh, no," Jonny said. "I'm good where I am."  
  
"You're good wherever you are," Segs said, completely nonsensical and yet somehow dripping with sleaze. Shit. He was even giving Kaner a run for his money in that department. Jonny hadn't thought that was even possible.  
  
Kaner was still fully dressed at least, even though his white tee-shirt was soaking wet and sticking to his skin. He had Segs' arms draped over his shoulders, and he hadn't let up with the dirty smirk he was sending Jonny's way. Jonny felt like he was being propositioned by a gay porno.  
  
"You guys are so fucking wasted," he said, and glared at Kaner. "What the hell are you even doing?"  
  
"Having fun," Kaner said. "You should try it."  
  
Yeah, it looked like he was having a lot of fun. Segs was holding the tequila bottle, and he poured out a stream into his own mouth and then Kaner's. Some of the booze spilled over Kaner's lips, dribbled over his chin, down his neck. Jonny watched impassively. And kept watching as Segs ducked his head to lick it up.  
  
"Seriously?" Jonny said, and Kaner laughed.  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
Fucking...of course he wasn't jealous. Why would he be jealous of the proprietary way Segs had his arms around Kaner, or the way Kaner was still gently rubbing at Segs' abs. Why would Segs licking Kaner's neck make Jonny feel anything, why would Kaner grinding into Segs get even the slightest reaction...  
  
" _Fuck_ ," Jonny hissed, and shook his head. "What do you want from me, guys?"  
  
"Get over here," Segs said again, and gestured with the tequila bottle. "Have a drink."  
  
Actually, a drink seemed like a really good idea.  
  
Jonny pushed off from the wall and walked across the room, stepping up behind Kaner, close but not touching. He took the bottle from Segs and tipped his head back, pouring a good slug down his throat. It burned going down, and Jonny almost choked when he felt Kaner’s head drop back against his chest.  
  
“Jesus,” Jonny said. “Kaner.”  
  
“It’s just having fun, Jonny,” Kaner said, low and convincing. “Come on. Have some more.”  
  
Segs had leaned down, pressed his lips to the base of Kaner’s throat. Jonny watched, hated how easy it was for Segs, how natural.  
  
He took another drink.  
  
“Atta boy, Tazer,” Segs said, lips moving against Kaner’s neck. Jonny saw his tongue dart out, lapping at Kaner’s skin. Jonny wrinkled his nose, and leaned down unsteadily to set the bottle on the floor.  
  
“Get up here, Jonny,” Kaner murmured, and then turned his head to kiss Segs.  
  
It was...shit. Jonny straightened back up, placed his hands carefully on Kaner’s waist, feeling at the soft, damp material of his tee-shirt. They were kissing inches from his face, open mouthed and wet, lips red and shiny, eyes closed. Jonny stared, breath harsh in his throat. He could lean forward and. And just.  
  
“Jonny,” Kaner whispered against Segsy’s lips, and twisted his head to the side. His eyes were still shut, so Jonny made it easy for him, ducked his head. And then he was tasting tequila and beer and spit and Segs, all in Kaner’s mouth.  
  
“Fuck yeah,” Segs hissed, sliding his hands up over Jonny’s, tangling their fingers. “Kiss him.”  
  
Jonny didn’t know which of them Segs was even talking to. He didn’t care. He squeezed Segsy’s hands and kissed Kaner deeper, making it just as sloppy and messy as the one he’d just seen.  
  
“Fuck, come on, fuck,” Kaner mumbled against his mouth, pulling Segs in tighter. “Both of you, fuck.”  
  
Jonny broke away, panting, and dropped his lips to Kaner’s neck. He was sweaty, and the taste of tequila was just as strong down here, mixing with salt. He licked, raised his eyes to see Segsy’s tongue pushing into Kaner’s mouth. He groaned, and ground forward, pressing his cock against Kaner’s ass. He was hard, because he was stupid, this whole thing was stupid, but he was way too fucking weak to resist.  
  
Jonny let go of Segsy’s fingers and pushed his hands around to Kaner’s front, shoving at his tee. “Take this off,” he said. “Come on, Kaner.”  
  
Segs laughed. “Jonny’s into it, now,” he said, stripping Kaner of the tee. “That’s awesome.”  
  
“Shut up,” Jonny said, and then leaned over Kaner’s now bare shoulder, let Segs meet him halfway, let their mouths crash together. Kaner, still wedged between them, sounded like bad porn.  
  
“That’s so hot, oh my god, fuck, look at you.” He was trying to do everything at once, rub his ass back against Jonny, grind forward into Segs. “Hey, guys, you should jerk me off, one of you, come on.”  
  
Jonny had to smile. “Why should we?” he asked, and Kaner moaned.  
  
“Because I wanna,” he said, needy. Segs rolled his eyes.  
  
“Hey let’s,” he started, and tugged Kaner away from Jonny’s grip. Jonny frowned for a second, and then saw where Segs was heading and decided he had a point. Jonny stripped off his own shirt and climbed onto the bed, let Segs push Kaner back into his arms. They were facing each other this time, on their sides, and then Segs crawled back into place behind Kaner.  
  
“This is gonna be awful,” Jonny said half-heartedly. Segs laughed again, and Kaner threw a leg over Jonny’s waist.  
  
“No it’s not,” he said, voice all fucked up, a little slurred. “Hey Jonny, lighten up.”  
  
“Yeah, Jonny,” Segs echoed, hooking his chin over Kaner’s shoulder and smirking. “Lighten up.”  
  
Jonny glared at them. He wasn’t drunk enough for this. But then Kaner licked his mouth, and Segs bit the back of Kaner’s neck and fuck, fine, whatever.  
  
“You want me to get you off?” he asked Kaner, stupidly, tugging at Kaner’s zipper. Kaner’s reply was to moan and then lick Jonny’s mouth again, desperate. “Yeah,” Jonny whispered. “You want it.”  
  
“Of course he does,” Segs said. He was a little breathless, and Jonny peeked over to see what he was doing. His hand was down his pants, muscles flexing as he jerked himself off.  
  
“No, wait,” Jonny said, and struggled to get Kaner’s jeans down. Kaner was no help at all, wiggling and trying to get back at Jonny’s mouth, hands everywhere.  
  
“Kaner, for fuck’s sake,” Jonny sighed. “Seguin, get your hand off your dick and help me out here.”  
  
“Bossy little motherfucker, aren’t you?” Segs said, but he and Jonny managed to get Kaner’s pants down together, hands tangling again. Jonny brought Segsy’s fingers to his mouth, sucking on them, getting them wet. Segs was grinning, wide and knowing, and Jonny had to smirk back, in between spitting in his own hand, getting everything all slicked up.  
  
“Like this,” Jonny said, and reached for Kaner’s dick, pulling Segs with him. Together they started pumping, jerking Kaner off as he tensed and twitched between them.  
  
“Fuck, Jesus _fuck_ ,” Kaner groaned, eyes closed. His mouth was slack, red and swollen and tempting. “Oh god, I’m gonna fuckin’ come.”  
  
Jonny looked down between them, looked at Kaner’s thick cock sliding in and out of their combined grip. It was stupid hot, _porno_ hot, and Jonny suddenly realised how fucking bad he needed to come himself.  
  
“Hang on, hang on,” he muttered, and used his free hand to  fumble with his fly, shoving his jeans out of the way. “You too, Segs.”  
  
Segs had to let go of Kaner’s cock, and Kaner moaned in frustration. “Fuck you, I was so close,” he gasped, glaring over his shoulder. Segs shrugged.  
  
“Suck it up, princess,” he said, and grabbed Kaner’s hip, pulling his ass back against Segs’s now naked dick. Jonny had to look away, overwhelmed for a moment, the weight of what they were doing too heavy, too intense.  
  
“Jonny, Jonny,” Kaner chanted, headbutting him, mouthing at his chin, his jaw. “Wake up, Jonny.”  
  
“Shut up, Pat,” Jonny whispered, throat raw. He caught Kaner’s lips in a real kiss, possessive, knowing Segs was watching.  
  
“Shit that’s hot,” Segs said, voice low and broken. “You two seriously never done this before?”  
  
“Seriously,” Kaner mumbled. “Fucking thought about it, though.”  
  
Jonny pulled back and looked at him. Kaner’s blue eyes were hooded, blurry, but he was looking back at Jonny expectantly.  
  
“Really?” Jonny asked, quietly, and Kaner nodded, cheeks flushed.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Jonny didn’t know what to say, how to react. His mouth was open, and Kaner was watching it, staring as Jonny licked his lips.  
  
“I didn’t know,” Jonny said eventually, and behind Kaner, Segs rolled his eyes.  
  
“This is super fuckin’ touching guys, honestly,” he said, and he was pumping his hips, sliding his cock against Kaner’s ass, and right, yeah. “But can you save the emotional bullshit for after we’ve gotten off, or...?”  
  
“You’re a real gentleman, Segsy,” Kaner snorted, and twisted his head around to lick Segs’ cheek. Segs just grinned, face red and hot, hair sweaty.  
  
“I’m gonna come all over your ass, Patty,” he said, low, watching Jonny’s face. “I mean, if that’s okay with Tazer.”  
  
“Jonny’s not the boss of me,” Kaner muttered, and finally, _finally_ , Jonny was starting to get some of what he needed. Kaner lined their dicks up, slid them together, wrapped a loose hand around them. “Come wherever the fuck you want.”  
  
Jonny couldn’t even work up the energy for jealousy. Kaner was hard and easy between them, opening himself up to be used, letting Segs grind against his ass, letting Jonny fuck into his fist. Jonny let himself imagine what it’d be like to have him like this always, ready for him, eager for him, willing to give Jonny whatever he needed... It was a dizzying thought.  
  
“Come on, Segs,” he said, panting. “Give it to him, huh.”  
  
And Segs closed his eyes and jerked his hips, hard, before coming with a soft grunt. He spurted out exactly where he’d said he was gonna - all over Kaner’s ass, in between his thighs, some splashing up the small of his back. Jonny craned his neck to watch, licking his lips and catching Segsy’s eye.  
  
“He’s all yours, Tazer,” Segs breathed, colour high in his cheeks. He rolled to the side, hand curled loosely around his dick. “Gonna put on a show or what?”  
  
“Yeah, because all of this is for your entertainment,” Jonny said, and pushed Kaner onto his back, gripping his knee, opening him up. Kaner went easy, like he had all night, letting Jonny crawl on top of him in between his spread legs. And shit, looking down at him, the wetness on his thighs, the way his cock was leaking against his abs - Jonny knew that this really wasn’t gonna last much longer.  
  
“Fucking hurry up,” Kaner said, and yeah, _yes_ , Jonny didn’t hold back.  
  
The fucked against each other like teenagers, wet with sweat and come, with the tequila Segs had rescued and was letting spill from his mouth to Kaner’s neck, for Jonny to lick back up. It was obscene, it was _ridiculous_. Jonny ground his cock into the cut of Kaner’s abs, listened to Segsy encouraging them, listened to the desperate groans coming from Kaner. He was almost there, almost fucking -  
  
He looked up, watched Segs pour tequila all over Kaner’s mouth, and Kaner was too out of it to even swallow, just let it spill out and down his chin and his eyes were rolling back and he looked so _fucking_ filthy. Jonny came sucking on Kaner’s jaw, mouth flooded with the taste of booze and sweat and Kaner and Segsy. He felt it slick between them, all up Kaner’s stomach, and it made everything so much smoother, wetter, and he kept pumping his hips until he almost couldn’t _stand_ it. Until Kaner gasped out his name and grabbed at his hips and exploded under him, back arched and faced turned into Segsy’s arm, moaning for Jonny over and over again.  
  
The aftermath was less awkward than it could have been.  
  
Jonny slumped to the side, breathing hard into the pillow and kicking his jeans the rest of the way down his legs. He was hot and sticky, and his head was starting to swim from all the booze. He really wanted to not think for just a little while longer.  
  
“So like,” Segs said, standing up and stretching, doing up his jeans. “You guys owe me a fucking muffin basket or something, right?”  
  
“The fuck are you talking about,” Kaner muttered, sprawling out on his back. Jonny wrinkled his nose. Kaner was absolutely _covered_ in come, shiny all over with sweat. And he stank of liquor.  
  
“Go have a shower,” Jonny said, poking him in the side. “You’re filthy.”  
  
“ _Yeah_ , I am,” Kaner grinned back at him, and Jonny laughed softly.  
  
“Idiot.”  
  
Above them, Segs started to laugh.  
  
“This is why,” he said. “Muffin basket, guys. I like blueberry.”  
  
Jonny sighed and sat up. Segs had pulled his shirt out from under the TV cabinet (Jonny didn’t want to know), and was watching them with amusement.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jonny said. “ _You_ don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
  
He was lying, though, and Segs looked like he knew it.  
  
“Sure, Tazer,” Segs said agreeably. “Whatever you say.”  
  
“Ugh, whatever.”  
  
Jonny slumped back down, watched Kaner and Segs head into the bathroom together, pushing at each other companionably. Jonny wondered how much tequila he’d consumed, wondered if licking it off Kaner’s skin had significantly increased the alcohol content or what. He could hear them talking, but not what they were saying. He tried not to imagine them kissing again, tried to fight down the rising wave of jealousy.  
  
He shouldn’t have worried. After a minute he heard the shower start, and then Segs was coming back out, water splashed on his face, looking just as trashy as ever but maybe slightly less like he’d just had a tequila-fueled threesome.  
  
“You better go keep an eye on him,” Segs said. “He’s drunk enough to fall and knock himself out on his own.”  
  
“You heading out?” Jonny asked, hauling himself off the bed. Segs nodded. “You sure you’re okay to make it back down to your room?”  
  
“I’m just down the hall,” Segs said, and then, catching Jonny by surprise, he surged forward, put his hands on Jonny’s hips.  
  
“Before we started,” he said, whispering the words in Jonny’s ear. “He told me he wanted to make you jealous.” Segs was grinning again, wide and toothy.  
  
Jonny flushed. “I don’t - I don’t know why he’d - “ he stammered, looking towards the open bathroom door. Segs chuckled.  
  
“I think it worked, eh?” he said, and ducked in for a kiss, quick and wet and open. “Go get him, Tazer,” he added against Jonny’s mouth. “He’s all yours.”  
  
Jonny kissed back, hard and biting, and then pulled away.  
  
“Yeah,” he said, and watched Segs walk to the door. “I know.”  
  
And then he headed into the bathroom after Kaner.


End file.
